Re-examining the Experiment

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In January of 2013 I started this blog.  It was meant to be an experiment of sorts.  I was going to see if I could give up Expectations.  Of course - giving them up entirely didn't happen.  I may have cut back on my expectations of YOU (my friends, family, partners, co-workers) and yet, I still had huge expectations of myself.  Did I still judge myself and the people around me based on my Book of Right and Wrong and What Things Mean - well, of course I did.  Humans judge - good and bad, right and wrong, yes and no, like and dislike.  It's unlikely if the human race would have survived if we judge.

I'm here to tell you, that I did not release all expectations.  

So was the experiment a success?  I'd say yes.  I have learned a lot in these 3 years, even when I didn't write for months at a time.  I continue to work on this stuff - continue to remind myself that having an open heart and an open mind and no real expectation of the people around me can bring me the most amazing experiences.  In those 3 years I have met wonderful people, studied fabulous ideas on personal and professional development, had amazing conversations, read fascinating books and watched my connections with loved ones and strangers flourish.  I'd say the experiment has been a tremendous success.

And so I have now collected enough blog entries for another go.  Will it be the same experiment?  Maybe different experiments every time?  I am trying on meditation for 21 days.  I started a new job last September and have seen a crazy amount of change in the last 5 months.  I have started running again after misplacing my running mojo.  I'm even working towards a "cleaner" eating plan.  I continue to be mindful when I push to force the outcome insted of just letting the outcome come to me.  All of those things can be "experimental" - just trying them on for a few weeks to see what happens.

I'll bring you with me, if you're interested.  I'll write about them and you can try them on too - let me know how they work out for you.

If you're curious about the beginning of the No Expectations experiment, you can read about it here

Learning to Be Vulnerable

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"If you want others to be more real and vulnerable, then you must be more real and vulnerable"

In 12 days I did 6 loads of laundry, 4 doctors' appointments, 3 trips to Walmart, 5 trips to the grocery store.  I took 12 bags of newspapers and magazines to the curb.  We drank 4 milkshakes, bought a new vacuum cleaner, sat through 2 visits with in-home care, scheduled 2 massages (one for mom and one for dad), and several nurse and PT visits. I also took at least 5 walks to the nearby park with my friend Roberta, got drunk one night (also with Roberta), fed the dogs and cats, researched handicapped placards, helped my sister fix my Dad's email via Skype over 3 nights, and typed two Elmer the Elf stories for my Mom.  Oh, and I managed to get some work done too.  One word to describe those12 days of my life - Exhausting.

Another word - Vulnerable

Clearing a space

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As many of you know, I'm no scientist.  But I've heard a "principle" out there in the world of science that states that two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time.  Maybe it's Pauli's principle.  Maybe I'm just quoting Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory.  Whether it's "true" or not, it happens to be playing around in my view right now.

Be it and you will become it

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"What you want to be eventually, you must be every day.  With practice the quality of your deeds gets down to your soul"

~ Frank Crane

 

I haven't published an entry in a while.   

I've written.  I've worked, I've practiced, I've chattered.  I have amazing people in my life who allow me to share and work and take a look - who challenge me and push me.  I haven't published in a while though....

I just happened to go into my LinkedIn account and saw a message (written in September) from my friend Richard.  "Keri, how are you?  Are you still writing your blog?  I've missed you". 

Well it's been a long time since I've posted.  
The busy whirlwind of work and travel for work have superseded my creativity - or maybe I just didn't have anything to say.

But this morning I had an 18 mile run on the schedule, and this is how it went:

"You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway." ~Steve Maraboli



Getting into Trouble

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"I tell a lot of young performers, 'Go get in trouble. Go commit yourself to something you're not sure you can do,' " he says. "And I followed my own advice. It was something I desperately wanted to do -- not as a career -- but an invitation I knew I couldn't refuse and yet had no sense of whether or not I could do it. And that is trouble -- but it was all so joyful. I'm very grateful to Mr. Sondheim that he got me in such trouble."

~ Stephen Colbert, regarding his recent role in Company

How would it be in life if everything were just a big surprise?

Oh, wait...it is that way, isn't it? 


Yea, I know you think you know how things will work out.  You turn on the coffee pot and you'll get coffee - unless the coffee pot is broken.  OK, you say "not ALL the time, but most of the time".  I'll bet you think you have a pretty good idea of how most things will probably work out; most of the time (pardon me if I don't use your lottery numbers...).

Feedback - love it or hate it?

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"Performance management is critical to our organizational effectiveness. By aligning your objectives with company goals and tracking your progress, you can see your contribution to the company's success."

Generic Performance Review Communication 

For many of you, it may be Annual Performance Review time. 

YAY!!  

It's the time when we receive feedback on our work. 
For many "workers", the annual review is the time when you are most aware of expectations that have been placed upon you.  If you manage people, you're aware of the expectations you've placed on them. 

Many people loathe the performance review process, citing all sorts of reasons why it's not a valuable or useful measure of anyone's success.  Others can't live without it - somehow transported back to college or high school, where a good grade was a good grade!  Still others use the performance review process as an opportunity to really ponder how they are in the world, and plan how they will create amazing possibilities for the coming year. 

Actually, I don't know anyone in that third group - but could that be possible?

A new year - a new day

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New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted...  

~Hamilton Wright Mabie


A friend remarked the other day that he didn't really understand why January 1 was a holiday.  It's just another day, isn't it?

A different friend had a similar thought around "resolutions".  She noted that, if we have choice every day, we can choose to start or stop something new or different any time we want to, so why January 1?  

Who's got Spirit?

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We've got Spirit - yes we do!
We've got Spirit, how 'bout you?

I recently received a link to a survey about "Christmas Spirit". Actually, the people who wrote the survey, Psychometrics Canada, Ltd. , were looking at MBTI personality type and Christmas Spirit.

What? No cranberry sauce?

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Holidays are all different depending on the company and time of your life.  - Dominic Monaghan 


The name of this blog, "That's One Way to Look at It", suggests that we don't all look at things the same way.  In fact, there are myriad ways to look at things and - drum roll - none is "right" or "wrong" - they just are.  Lately I've been really thinking about this.

In my cartoon of life, we carry around a big steamer trunk we fill with all the stuff we learn.  It's our archive, our file cabinet, our shelves of tape we view and review in our heads to make sense of things.  It seems we look into our past set of experiences to make sense of the things that happen to us in the present.  In the trunk/archive/file cabinet, along with our memories and experiences (both "good and bad") is our Book of Right and Wrong and What Things Mean.  This is a very, VERY, important tome of information, for we depend on it for our very survival.

What's in my Book, however, is different from everyone else's Book.  Even different from my family members' Books!

 


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