Recently in No Expectations Category

Re-examining the Experiment

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In January of 2013 I started this blog.  It was meant to be an experiment of sorts.  I was going to see if I could give up Expectations.  Of course - giving them up entirely didn't happen.  I may have cut back on my expectations of YOU (my friends, family, partners, co-workers) and yet, I still had huge expectations of myself.  Did I still judge myself and the people around me based on my Book of Right and Wrong and What Things Mean - well, of course I did.  Humans judge - good and bad, right and wrong, yes and no, like and dislike.  It's unlikely if the human race would have survived if we judge.

I'm here to tell you, that I did not release all expectations.  

So was the experiment a success?  I'd say yes.  I have learned a lot in these 3 years, even when I didn't write for months at a time.  I continue to work on this stuff - continue to remind myself that having an open heart and an open mind and no real expectation of the people around me can bring me the most amazing experiences.  In those 3 years I have met wonderful people, studied fabulous ideas on personal and professional development, had amazing conversations, read fascinating books and watched my connections with loved ones and strangers flourish.  I'd say the experiment has been a tremendous success.

And so I have now collected enough blog entries for another go.  Will it be the same experiment?  Maybe different experiments every time?  I am trying on meditation for 21 days.  I started a new job last September and have seen a crazy amount of change in the last 5 months.  I have started running again after misplacing my running mojo.  I'm even working towards a "cleaner" eating plan.  I continue to be mindful when I push to force the outcome insted of just letting the outcome come to me.  All of those things can be "experimental" - just trying them on for a few weeks to see what happens.

I'll bring you with me, if you're interested.  I'll write about them and you can try them on too - let me know how they work out for you.

If you're curious about the beginning of the No Expectations experiment, you can read about it here

Be it and you will become it

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"What you want to be eventually, you must be every day.  With practice the quality of your deeds gets down to your soul"

~ Frank Crane

 

I haven't published an entry in a while.   

I've written.  I've worked, I've practiced, I've chattered.  I have amazing people in my life who allow me to share and work and take a look - who challenge me and push me.  I haven't published in a while though....

I just happened to go into my LinkedIn account and saw a message (written in September) from my friend Richard.  "Keri, how are you?  Are you still writing your blog?  I've missed you". 

Well it's been a long time since I've posted.  
The busy whirlwind of work and travel for work have superseded my creativity - or maybe I just didn't have anything to say.

But this morning I had an 18 mile run on the schedule, and this is how it went:

"You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway." ~Steve Maraboli



Getting into Trouble

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"I tell a lot of young performers, 'Go get in trouble. Go commit yourself to something you're not sure you can do,' " he says. "And I followed my own advice. It was something I desperately wanted to do -- not as a career -- but an invitation I knew I couldn't refuse and yet had no sense of whether or not I could do it. And that is trouble -- but it was all so joyful. I'm very grateful to Mr. Sondheim that he got me in such trouble."

~ Stephen Colbert, regarding his recent role in Company

How would it be in life if everything were just a big surprise?

Oh, wait...it is that way, isn't it? 


Yea, I know you think you know how things will work out.  You turn on the coffee pot and you'll get coffee - unless the coffee pot is broken.  OK, you say "not ALL the time, but most of the time".  I'll bet you think you have a pretty good idea of how most things will probably work out; most of the time (pardon me if I don't use your lottery numbers...).

A new year - a new day

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New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted...  

~Hamilton Wright Mabie


A friend remarked the other day that he didn't really understand why January 1 was a holiday.  It's just another day, isn't it?

A different friend had a similar thought around "resolutions".  She noted that, if we have choice every day, we can choose to start or stop something new or different any time we want to, so why January 1?  

Things have a way of working out

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In every life we have some trouble 
When you worry you make it double
 

Don't worry, be happy......
 

Que sera, sera....whatever will be will be

 

In the past 10 weeks I have been on 19 airplanes.

I have been in California, North Carolina, Maryland, Virginia, England, Italy and China.  I have fallen asleep in the car on the way to dinner.  I have lain in bed wide awake.  I have not run.  I have not swum.  I have not worked out.  I ate things that I never eat.  I ate things that I never want to eat again.

I have had an amazing series of journeys and met an amazing group of people - over 100 co-workers who have all made an impact on me.

I have stood in front of an audience from over 20 different countries and talked about leadership, ownership, choice, and the meanings we assign to things.

I am so fortunate.

I am also tired.

I am tired in that giddy-excited-nervous-cranky-overly caffeinated-exhausted-semiconscious-slap happy-now what? kind of way.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
W Shakespeare, Hamlet, scene v

Every day we do risk assessments.  That's what adults do.  We look at the situation, figure out all the scenarios for how it could go wrong and then we choose to move forward or not.  Have you ever watched a bunch of kids on the playground and not cringed?  It makes me cringe and I don't own any of the kids.  I see the "accident waiting to happen" in all sorts of situation. We are that robot from Lost in Space - "Danger, Danger".


"One of the secrets of getting more done is to make a TO DO List every day, keep it visible, and use it as a guide to action as you go through the day."

- Jean de La Fontaine


Do you make lists?  I do.  I'm a Virgo, a Type A, Controlling Project Manager.  Of course I make lists.  Those types of people (whatever that means) make lists.  We have stuff to do, and we're going to get that stuff done!  We have things to buy and we're going to buy those things and only those things.


All you need is Love

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The greatest thing you'll ever learn

Is just to love and be loved in return

~ Nat King Cole.

 

Love is No Expectations.  

Love is being with people and feeling a feeling about them that is sometimes hard to even verbalize, but you definitely have the feeling.  It's not that funny feeling in the pit of your stomach.  That's something else J  Love is not icky or scary or nervous or anxious - it's more like a swell in your heart that feels like you're just going to bust open.

 

I feel it every now and then, but last weekend, when I was in San Diego visiting friends, I felt it so often and so many times that by the end of the trip I was in tears.  Tears of an amazing kind of joy I don't know if I've ever felt.  Tears because I didn't know I could actually feel love and feel being loved like that.

 

Let me just grab a tissue and explain....

 


"A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them - they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship." 
― Rainer Maria Rilke

 

Recently I've been thinking a lot about how the universe gets shaken up - how things shift and change happens.  I've been thinking about how "that just worked out" and "the planets were aligned".  Some people pray for things to change, and sometimes they do.  They say they left it to God and He made it happen.  Others believe that we are the author of our destiny.  We act a certain way, do a certain thing, and we put something in motion.  Still there are others who think it all has something to do with fate, and we have no way of changing anything.  The book is written.

I tend to think, while there may be some supreme Being or Three Fates or a host of gods and goddesses up there (wherever there is) looking down on us and pulling our strings, it probably really has everything to do with how we show up.  

 


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