Computer Light Bulb Jokes
 
Q.  How many product managers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A.  Let's get the marketers involved.  I think we can sell this as a feature.
 
Q.  How many staff managers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A.  Three.  Two to hold the ladder, and one to screw the light bulb into a
    faucet.
 
Q.  How many senior managers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A.  We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out
    and to figure out what, exactly, we as managers can do to make the light
    bulbs work smarter, not harder.
 
Q.  How many PC repair people does it take to change a light bulb ?
A.  PC repair has received your mail concerning your hardware problem and has
    assigned your request Service Order Number 39712B-1.  Please use this
    number for any future reference to this case of trouble.  As soon as a
    technician becomes available, you will be contacted.
 
Q.  How many technical support people does it take to change a light bulb ?
A.  We have an exact copy of the bulb here and it seems to be working fine. Can
    you tell me what kind of system you have.  OK.  Just exactly how dark is
    it?  OK.  There could be four or five things wrong.  Have you tried the
    light switch?
 
Q.  How many production editors does it take to change a light bulb ?
A.  I'll have the documentation assistants do it.
 
Q.  How many documentation assistants does it take to change a light bulb ?
A.  I can't do anything unless you fill out a light bulb change request form.
 
Q.  How many testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A.  We just noticed the room was dark; we don't actually fix the problems.

Q.  How many developers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A.  The light bulb works fine on the system in my office.
 
Q.  How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A.  That's a hardware problem.
 
Q.  How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A.  Tell software to code around it.
 
Q.  How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A.  Two.  One always quits in the middle of the project.
 
Q.  How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A.  472.  One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write
    WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle, ....
 
Q.  How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A.  You're still thinking procedurally.  A properly designed light bulb object
    would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd
    do is send it a bulb change message.
 
Q.  How many area associates does it take to change a light bulb ?
A.  One.

Q.   How many Configuration Management jockeys does it take to change a
     light bulb?
A.   Give us your light bulb and a change request, and we'll change
     everyone's bulbs, probably around midnight.

Q.   How many Management Information System guys does it take to change a
     light bulb?
A.   MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem, and has
     assigned your request Service Number 39712.  Please use this number for 
     any future reference to this light bulb issue.  As soon as a technician 
     becomes available, you will be contacted.

Q.   How many <fill in company> technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A.   Three: two holding the ladder and one to screw the bulb into a faucet.

Q.   How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A.   Eight: one to work the bulb and seven to make sure the company gets
     $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

Q.   How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A.   You're still thinking procedurally.  A properly designed light bulb
     object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, 
     so all you'd have to do is send a light bulb change message.

Q.   How many shipping dept. personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
A.   We can change the bulb in 7-10 working days; if you call before 2pm and
     pay an extra $15 we can get the bulb changed overnight.

Q.   How long does it take a DEC repairman to change a light bulb?
A.   It depends on how many burnt-out lightbulbs he brought with him.

Q:   How many Windows users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:   One, but he'll swear up and down that it was just as easy for him as it
     would be for a Macintosh user.

Q:   How many Newtons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:   Foux! There to eat lemons, axe gravy soup.

Q:   How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:   None, Bill Gates will just redefine DarknessTM as the new industry
     standard.